A view from 68

My thoughts this month center on what most of us will face in life: The Challenge of Aging.

Today, February 26th, I am celebrating my 68th birthday. The blessing of age is not just the lessons you learn from your life, but also from the lessons you learn watching the lives of others. I love what Pastor Mike Moore once said, "We can learn in one of two ways, crises from our own mistakes or wisdom from the mistakes of others. Wisdom is the better way."

Wisdom is not gained by accident—it must be developed in the awareness that our days may be long, but our years are short. Wisdom is not intuitive; it is inherited through intentional effort.

Here are four things I am learning about aging and four traps I am intentionally avoiding. I pray that it may provide some wisdom for you.

The Trap of Distractions

As We Age - Distractions Increase While Our Energy Decreases

So much energy is spent on things we have little control over (politics, sensational news stories, petty disagreements) that we have no energy to engage with the things we have almost complete control over (our mental and physical health, purpose, priorities, meaningful relationships). These things are distractions.

Sadly, we live in a world with no shortage of distractions. Age naturally brings diminished energy, decreased strength, and physical limitations. All the more reason we need to be sensitive to and fight against the Trap of Distractions. One of my favorite seminars that I teach at men’s conferences is "Playing the Back Nine: Leaving the Legacy You Want to Leave." I am convinced that the most fruitful years of life should be ages 55-85.

At 68, I am increasingly sensitive to the need to use my limited energy and time on purpose and priorities, and to ignore the noise. Craig Groschel once said, "Guard your focus like your life depends on it... because it does.”

The Trap of Drifting

As We Age - Drifting Moves Us While Our Purpose No Longer Leads Us

Here is a formula and an approach to life to avoid: Neglect (N) + Passivity(P) = Drifting (D).

For too many, the hopes and dreams of youth are forgotten not because of failure but because of drifting. Drifting from purpose. Drifting from values. Drifting from eternal truths. I read the following in a Better Man Devotional: "The greatest pressure most men face is not persecution, but participation. Everyone else is doing it. Everyone else is bowing. Everyone else is compromising. And everyone else seems just fine." The real problem is that everyone else is drifting. My friend Pastor Todd Williams recently proclaimed, “The only thing that keeps us from DRIFTING is an ANCHOR!” He also shared, and I agree with him, "The only ANCHOR worth having is God and His purpose for our lives." However, it is important to remember that anchors don’t eliminate storms or calm the seas, but they do prevent drifting and drifting will cause more damage and wreak more havoc than any storm of life.

At 68, I am more sensitive than ever to being led by purpose and to eliminating drifting.

The Trap of Despair and Cynicism

As We Age - Despair and Cynicism Grow While Dreams and Passions Die

Actually, this is a trap I decided I would avoid decades ago. I had an uncle, I’ll call him Uncle Fred, who was the classic grumpy old man. He saw a dark lining around every silver cloud. He was Mister “Yeah …but” and life’s CCO (Chief Complaining Officer), a man filled with the spirit of Eeyore. I remember saying to myself in my twenties, "I don’t ever want to be an Uncle Fred." But now that I have gotten here, I much better understand Uncle Fred. I realize that he was not a victim of despair and cynicism; he was a victim of dead dreams and passions. Myles Munroe famously said, "Our purpose doesn’t expire until we do!" As I navigate through this season, I realize it is more important than ever to focus on God-given dreams, passions, purpose, and goals.  Despair and cynicism cannot survive long in a garden filled with a passion for God and His purpose for our lives. I have heard it said that we can either shine a light or curse the darkness. Despair and cynicism are toxic and alleviate no pain, provide no healing, and build no bridges.

At 68, I am more sensitive than ever to the need to pursue purpose.

The Trap of Deep Regret

As We Age - Deep Regret Replaces Bold Belief

We all have things we would like to do over. Some regret is normal, maybe even healthy; it is certainly human. But deep, paralyzing, life-draining regret is not. Deep regret produces fear, and it is a fear that keeps you from moving. Oddly enough, this fear of moving is usually worse than the reality of what you fear will happen if you do. As I minister to older men, this statement comes up time and again: "I don’t qualify because of the mistakes I have made." I love what Rex Tignor says, “Your resume of mistakes is not the reason God cannot use you; it is actually the reason that he can!" As I observe others as they age and examine my own life, I am finding that the great challenge of deep regret is that it undermines bold belief. I know it is true of me; I think it is true of you as well. As I look back on my life and what God has done for me, I have much more reason to live with bold belief than deep regret. He has forgiven my sins, sustained me through difficult times, redeemed my mistakes, and remains faithful to His promises. At 68, there is less about life that I am sure about. The few things I am absolutely sure about sustain and grow a bold belief that cancels out any deep regret I could have. There are two things that will always declare direction and identity: Who we are and where we are going.

My view at 68 is that I am secure in Jesus and going in the direction he has for me,