Growing up, I vividly remember the smell of dinner being cooked as I walked in the front door. Whether coming in from after school or from a day spent on the ballfield, I knew it would be an awesome night based on the aroma that greeted me when I came inside. The simple smell of fried fish, fried chicken, or fried pork chops (yes there is a pattern here) or even roasted barbecue or boiling hot dogs was a message to my senses that this was going to be a good night. I also realized I was moments away from another one of my mom’s delicious meals. However, there was one smell that did not elicit that same excitement and anticipation - the smell of fried liver. My immediate response to that smell was utter disappointment. And my mom tried everything she could to make liver palatable. Regardless of all her efforts, here is what I knew:
My mother was my mom and not a restauranteur, so whatever was on the menu was on the menu - it was liver or nothing that night.
My mother convinced us that liver was good for us and as a growing boy I needed the nutrients in this otherwise very unpleasant meal.
Again, no matter how hard she tried it was still disgusting. She tried frying it, loading it with onions, and covering it with gravy. I think she even tried using the spices and cooking oil she used for her delicious chicken, fish, and chops….didn’t matter. Despite all her efforts it still tasted like liver.
I say all of this because this blog is a fried liver meal. It won’t taste good to your ears and I am not going to try to camouflage it with onions and gravy. You may find it harsh and difficult to digest. Nonetheless, it needs to be served. The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians:
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV)
Could I be so bold to say that as Men there are some toys, some childish things, we need to put behind us? Things like video games, softball leagues, bar hopping, and fantasy sports leagues (uh-oh, that was the sound of me coming down my own street). Considering the state of our world and particularly the state of Manhood and Fatherlessness in our culture. Perhaps there are some things we should have a greater level of involvement in besides reaching the next level in Fortnite or scouring the waiver wires to improve your fantasy league record. Men, we have much more important things to focus on!
Today I attended a funeral and walked away with the sad reality that another life has passed on that settled with never really putting away childish things. I am sure, you thinking about your own mortality, is about as delectable as a plate of fried liver is to me, but if it causes us to lean into the things that really matter, it is well worth it. So can I make a few suggestions? Can I have permission to mention a few ways you can steward your time better? Better than chasing a golf ball or streaming that 10th straight episode of Reacher or Night Agent. Here are a few things I have tried to implement in my life.
First, take 30-60 minutes this week to write down the names of every man that you know, both old and young, that you have even the smallest amount of influence over. Start with your sons and grandsons and do the following:
Every day take a time out to send one of these men a text of encouragement or inspiration.
Every week call and give one of these men a word of encouragement, if they don’t answer leave a voicemail. They will be blessed by hearing a positive heartfelt word from another man. Trust me, chances are it will be the only one they get that week.
Every month take one of these men out to a coffee. Not to preach, bloviate or counsel them, but to simply listen to their hopes and dreams.
Every quarter write one of them a handwritten note of encouragement. There is power in receiving a handwritten note in the mail that is immeasurable.
Every year invest financially or creatively in some way, large or small, into his dream, ministry, or mission.
I considered titling this blog “Building a Legacy” because when doing these 5 things that is exactly what you accomplish. But I believe one thing that keeps us from doing that . . . Building a Legacy. . . is we invest too much time with the toys we have and not enough Building the Legacy we want. Eventually, all our toys will fade away, and end up in someone else’s basement or at a tag sale. But our "Legacy" will continue to produce fruit for years, even decades, after we are gone. Consequently, that is where we need to prioritize and steward our time.
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